I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
