i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Well I just put wine in my tea
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
