Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
