margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize