I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
