You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
