your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
