Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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