Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
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No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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