So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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