So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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