remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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