I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
