I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
When are your genitals available?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
