Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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