Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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