After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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