You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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