I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
