I puked a lego.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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