...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
