it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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