Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I will be naked everywhere
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
