After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice