Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.