he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
