Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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