she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
