i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
