had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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