just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
