i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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