im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
