Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
