Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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