yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
