Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
