Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cut my penus on the lid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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