would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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