I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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