a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
