Pappa wants mamma naked
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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