Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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