You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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