im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
