Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
