You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
how drunk are you?
Several
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize