So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
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My vagina just recognized that song.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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