Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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