ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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