new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
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Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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