I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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