You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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