It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
