This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
