i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize