I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
