i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
