Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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