i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
