So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
