somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
