everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
