He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
