me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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