No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
