either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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