well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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